Sometimes, out of nowhere, a random thought or seeing one of their friends triggers a wave of tears. It's like the loss is fresh all over again.
What to Expect Right After a Loss
If you've just lost a beloved pet, I want to gently prepare you: it's going to hurt — deeply. You might find yourself crying uncontrollably over the smallest things. A favorite toy, a bed still tucked in the corner, even something as simple as sitting down to eat — especially if you used to slip them a bite under the table. You might swear you hear the jingle of their collar when there's nothing there, and it'll break your heart all over again.
And if you have another pet at home, the loss can feel even heavier. Not only are you grieving, but you're watching them grieve too. They may sleep more, eat less, or seem confused and withdrawn. Our pets feel so much, and their sadness can mirror ours in heartbreaking ways.
Sudden Loss vs. Saying Goodbye
Before this loss, I had to say goodbye to a family dog through euthanasia — one of the hardest decisions I've ever faced. We want to hold on, but we want them free from suffering. It's where love and our own selfishness collide. There's no right or wrong way to grieve or say goodbye.
I still don't know which loss was harder: the sudden, unexpected goodbye or the painful choice to let go. Both were devastating in their own way.
Research from the Human Animal Bond Research Institute (HABRI) and the American Psychological Association compares the grief of losing a pet to losing a child. Dogs don't just live alongside us; they devote themselves to us completely — loving us unconditionally, depending on us in every way.
As Queen Elizabeth II wisely said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." And loving our pets means the grief can be deep and lasting.
Invisible Grief
Invisible grief is real — and often misunderstood. Many people who don't have pets can't fully grasp how deep this loss runs. You might feel isolated or even judged for how much it hurts, but your feelings are valid and true.
Movies like Marley & Me remind us just how deeply dogs become family. That story is one many pet owners know all too well.
As part of my own healing, I've developed personal traditions that help me stay connected. After losing my last pup, I updated my will to have part of my ashes spread at our favorite hiking spots. I also created a new ritual — going back to those special places with my child, and throwing a tennis ball together, the same way I used to with my pup.
And for the family dog we said goodbye to years ago, we modeled the Pupz Club logo after him. His shape and spirit are literally at the heart of our brand — a daily reminder of the love that started it all.
Grieving Alongside Our Members
For those of us working in daycare, it's one of the greatest honors to meet and care for so many incredible pups. But it also means we experience loss more often than most. We get used to their presence — the tail wags, the goofy habits, the way they light up the room — and we treat each one like our own. When a pup doesn't come back, we feel it deeply.
We all grieve in our own way. Some cry it out in the car before going home. Some talk about the best times, replaying those silly, joyful memories out loud. Others scroll through the hundreds of photos we've taken. Some turn to art and create diamond paintings. And some of us return to the places we once played together, throwing a tennis ball in a spot that used to be theirs.
Ways to Honor Their Memory
- Write about the joy and the pain — get it all out
- Create a memory book or frame a favorite photo
- Light a candle in their honor
- Use ashes to grow a tree — turn loss into new life
- Return to a favorite place and do something you loved together
If you're grieving, don't hesitate to seek support — from friends, family, pet loss support groups, or counselors who understand the unique pain of losing a pet. You don't have to walk this path alone.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. Grief is a testament to the love you shared. And that love never truly leaves.
Resources
- Human Animal Bond Research Institute (HABRI)
- American Psychological Association — Pet Loss and Grief
- Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
- Rainbows Bridge Memorials & Support
From all of us at Pupz Club — thank you for loving them so well. Whether your dog is with you today at PLAY, curled up during a STAY, or living on in memory, every dog has a name here.